Knowing Your Colleagues' Love Languages

In honor of Valentine's Day...

Many years ago, I read the classic book 5 Love Languages. Then around this time last year, a friend recommended that my fiancé and I take this quick Love Language quiz to our respective love languages with each other.

Since my now-husband and I are opposites, it was no surprise that we do not crave love in the same way. However, the goal is not to have the same language as your partner. The goal is to simply know your partner's language (Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch), then adjust your actions so that (s)he feels loved and appreciated.

The connection between one's personal-love language and her work-love language recently hit me, as I was thinking about upcoming performance reviews and recruiting new talent into our industry.


For example, as someone whose language is Receiving Gifts, this is how I like to be appreciated and will grow in loyalty to a boss or organization.  This may seem obvious, as one could translate to "give me more money!" But for me personally, that's not all there is to it. People who know me know that I love professional development and extra opportunities to learn. Working this "gift" into my motivation plans at work would increase my loyalty and let me know that my boss knows who I am on a deeper level. 

For someone else whose language is Words of Affirmation or Quality Time, a boss or teammate should consider having regular, weekly one on ones to review progress; publicize and promote her accomplishments; and pay close attention to how (s)he communicates and frames conversations.


What I'm suggesting is all part of intentional relationship building and isn't rocket science, I know. However, communicating with this level of intention is often the first thing to go when we're feeling time-crunched, threatened, or insecure.

I would also offer that it goes both ways: as an employee, understanding your own Love Language and using it to form powerful and trusting relationships with your boss, colleagues, or even as part of negotiating your next position will help you stand out among colleagues and increase the mutual loyalty between you and your organization.


Take the 5 minute quiz and leave a Comment to let me know your Love Language and how you'd like your boss or organization to "speak it" with you.


Image by Birds and Baking

Posted on February 13, 2017 and filed under Tips & Tools.

Checking in on 2017


The second Friday in February is dubbed the "Fatty Solstice." According to Foursquare, it's the day that we're most likely to counteract our New Year's resolutions by running to the nearest McDonald's. 

Whether your 2017 goals revolved around health, work, or resolving to have no resolutions, there's a chance that perhaps week 5 of 2017 isn't as bright and shiny as you pictured it, back in the hopeful days of early January (or is it just me?). 

However, as a friend sternly reminded me yesterday, "There is a LOT of time left in 2017." After her tough love session, I was looking for inspiration in a Tim Ferriss interview of Adam Robinson. Adam is a friend of Warren Buffet, an adviser to global hedge funds, and chess master. For someone who's driven by numbers, logic, and interconnection of information, he stands out among the Sheldon Coopers of the world. As much as he quests for data, he looks for magical moments in life, as well as opportunities to listen to his unconsciousness mind.

His closing words of the interview surprised me but were just what I needed to hear to get back to work...


"I'm excited for the world because this is a fulcrum moment...
This is a fulcrum year.  
Now is the time to press hard... I'm really excited about 2017.
For myself and for the world."


Photo from Her New Tribe

Posted on February 10, 2017 and filed under Quotable.